That Sounds Hard
Trigger Warning: Intergenerational Trauma
Friends, please allow this first section to serve as a trigger warning. We will be discussing intergenerational and inherited family trauma. This blog post may be difficult to read. If you are not sure if you would like to proceed, I encourage you to participate in the following, brief exercise:
Step #1: Find yourself in a seated or comfortable position.
Step #2: Lower your gaze or close your eyes - whichever is most comfortable.
Step #3: Notice your breath. Do not change it, just notice.
Step #4: Ask yourself, “Do I have the capacity to read this right now?”
If your body softens or you hear or feel a ‘yes,’ proceed.
If you notice tension on your body or you hear or feel a ‘no,” instead of reading, do something loving for yourself. You may be able to return to the post later.
When Trauma becomes Intergenerational
At this point, trauma has become quite the buzz word in popular culture to describe distressing or shocking events. Like biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it is oatmeal raisin and in the aftermath claiming PTSD because oatmeal raisin makes you cringe. When really, trauma happens when you unknowingly bite into the oatmeal raisin cookie and panic because you are severely allergic to raisins. You search for your epipen only to find out it is expired and are rushed to the nearest emergency room as you struggle to breath through anaphylaxis.
Trauma can be acute, like anaphylactic shock, or complex, like systemic racism, domestic abuse, or a narcissistic parent. Complex trauma is invasive, ongoing, and interpersonal. The nature of complex trauma is that its effects are reinforced by the way it changes our interactions with others and how we develop genetically across the lifespan.
To cope with trauma our bodies and minds adjust in an attempt to keep us safe. Without therapeutic intervention, the impacts of trauma can consequently look like:
Substance abuse
Alteration of genetic expression
Disease (autoimmunity, certain cancers, diabetes, heart disease, IBS)
Behavioral addictions
Eating disorders
Neurological programing
Anxious, Avoidant, or Disorganized Attachment
Depression & Anxiety
When these impacts of trauma go unhealed, we are at risk of developing a more invasive type of trauma called Intergenerational Trauma. Intergenerational trauma, or inherited family trauma, occurs when the impacts of complex trauma (mentioned above) are passed down from one generation to another through interactions between family members and shared genetic expression.
You may be wondering, “how can something that my grandmother experienced be impacting me today?” Intergenerational trauma can be observed in families where past experiences of trauma, such as war, abuse, or systemic discrimination, affect the mental and emotional health of subsequent generations. For example, consider a family where a parent grew up in an environment of domestic violence. This parent might develop anxiety, difficulty with trust, or issues with emotional regulation.
As a result, they may struggle to provide a stable and nurturing environment for their children, leading to similar patterns of anxiety or insecurity. The children, in turn, might internalize these emotional struggles and develop their own mental health issues, continuing the cycle.
Cultural narratives and behaviors around trauma can be passed down, where children may adopt the same fears, coping mechanisms, or communication styles as their parents, even if they haven’t experienced the original trauma directly. This creates a cycle that can perpetuate trauma across generations, making it vital for families to seek healing and break these patterns.
Biological Impact
Research has shown that trauma can lead to changes in gene expression and brain chemistry, which may influence not just the individual who experienced the trauma, but also their descendants.
In a family where a parent has unresolved trauma, the children may inherit these epigenetic markers, which could manifest as increased susceptibility to anxiety disorders or difficulties in managing stress, even if they have not directly experienced the original trauma themselves. This biological aspect, combined with emotional and environmental factors, contributes to the complex transmission of trauma across generations.
How Do I Know it is Intergenerational Trauma
Symptoms of intergenerational trauma and more acute trauma often overlap, including dissociation/numbness, hypervigilance, memory loss, disconnection from others, etc. So, understanding how to label your trauma can be difficult. Thus, it can be helpful to investigate your family history for clues. Get curious about familial events, asking “Are there any broken relationships in my family?” Or, “Has my family experienced war, illness, traumatic death, or religious trauma?” Mark Wolynn, Founder of The Family Constellation Institute and author of It Didn’t Start With You, shares a list of questions to consider in your search.
Here are a few other examples to look for:
Neglect
Abuse (physical, emotional, sexual)
Enmeshment
Codependency
People pleasing
Divorce
Estrangement
In my own experience, acknowledging intergenerational trauma began when I started breaking down my own harmful interactions and comparing them to learned behaviors from my childhood. Other symptoms I experienced were unexplainable health conditions, increased dissociation, and sudden distrust in others. Naming and acknowledging my own inherited family trauma became essential on my own journey back to self and embodiment. There is tremendous power in naming our experiences because we are bringing the unconscious to the conscious.
The Return to Self
Bringing the unconscious to the conscious often becomes the first step in healing. Once acknowledged, healing from inherited family trauma often requires a holistic approach that addresses the interconnected aspects of an individual's well-being. Here’s a breakdown of what a holistic approach to healing intergenerational trauma entails:
Physical Well-being: Trauma can manifest physically through symptoms like tension, insomnia, and fatigue. A holistic approach includes practices such as exercise, yoga, and massage therapy to help release physical tension, promote relaxation, and restore a sense of control over the body.
Emotional Healing: Trauma deeply affects emotions, leading to feelings of fear, sadness, anger, or numbness. Emotional healing involves therapies such as Internal Family Systems, Somatic Based therapy, or Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction. These therapies help individuals identify and process emotions, develop coping strategies, and build emotional resilience.
Social Support: Healthy relationships and a supportive social network are crucial for healing from trauma. A holistic approach includes strengthening existing relationships and fostering new connections through support groups, therapy groups, or community activities. This social support provides validation, empathy, and encouragement, which are essential for recovery.
Spiritual Well-being: Addressing the spiritual dimension involves exploring questions of meaning, purpose, and connection to something larger than oneself. This can be achieved through practices such as meditation, prayer, or engaging in nature. Spiritual well-being helps individuals find inner peace, acceptance, and a sense of transcendence beyond the trauma.
Cognitive Rehabilitation: Trauma can affect cognitive functions such as memory, concentration, and decision-making. Cognitive rehabilitation techniques, including cognitive restructuring and neurofeedback, help individuals regain cognitive skills and improve their ability to process information effectively.
Creative Expression: Engaging in creative activities such as art therapy, music therapy, or journaling provides a non-verbal outlet for expressing and processing emotions related to trauma. Creative expression promotes self-discovery, emotional release, and empowerment.
Nutritional and Lifestyle Factors: A healthy diet, sufficient sleep, and managing stress through techniques like mindfulness and relaxation exercises contribute to overall well-being and support the body's ability to heal from trauma.
Trauma-Informed Care: It's crucial that all interventions and treatments are trauma-informed, meaning they take into account the unique needs and experiences of individuals who have experienced trauma. This approach emphasizes safety, trustworthiness, choice, collaboration, and empowerment in therapeutic relationships and interventions.
Overall, the holistic approach to trauma involves experiencing embodiment. Embodiment in therapy is about paying attention to how our bodies feel and using that awareness to understand our emotions and thoughts better. It's the idea that our physical sensations—like tension, relaxation, or even pain—can tell us a lot about what's going on inside our minds and hearts.
Here are a few of my favorite resources for those reading this that have become more curious:
It Didn’t Start With You by Mark Wolynn
Break The Cycle by Dr. Mariel Buqué
My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem
Episode 97 of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast
Episode 346 of the We Can Do Hard Things podcast
This list is reguarly updated.
To those doing the work towards embodiment and those who have not began yet, I send you love, light, and peace.
All my love,
Caroline