Journal Entry .001
I want to share a little portion of today’s journal in hopes of inviting my readers to go inward and consider their own moments of new beginnings.
In this entry, I use the name “God” and verb “pray.” Because this can feel like loaded language for some, I use the words of Elizabeth Gilbert to describe exactly what I mean:
“Let me first explain why I use the word God, when I could just as easily use the words Jehovah, Allah, Shiva, Brahma, Vishnu or Zeus. Alternatively, I could call God “That,” which is how the ancient Sanskrit scriptures say it, and which I think comes close to the all-inclusive and unspeakable entity I have sometimes experienced. But that “That” feels impersonal to me—a thing, not a being—and I myself cannot pray to a That. I need a proper name, in order to fully sense a personal attendance. For this same reason, when I pray, I do not address my prayers to The Universe, The Great Void, The Force, The Supreme Self, The Whole, The Creator, The Light, The Higher Power, or even the most poetic manifestation of God's name, taken, I believe, from the Gnostic gospels: “The Shadow of the Turning.” I have nothing against any of these terms. I feel they are all equal because they are all equally adequate and inadequate descriptions of the indescribable. But we each do need a functional name for this indescribability, and “God” is the name that feels the most warm to me, so that's what I use.”
And with that, please enjoy a small excerpt from my journal today:
Caroline’s Journal 8/23/24
“What feels like many moons ago, I adopted my dog Bo, as a first year grad student at Appalachian State University. Bo was a year old Plott Hound, a breed bred for hunting bears in the NC mountains, that was dropped off at the shelter a few weeks prior. I was inspired to adopt Bo because my three-year-old Basset/pit mix, CeCe, needed a buddy while I was studying and going to class. I adopted CeCe a year prior as I was beginning my senior year of college. CeCe and I were inseparable and it didn’t feel right to leave her alone. Adopting Bo seemed like a no brainer but I felt apprehensive about starting another life changing new beginning. The night before CeCe and I officially adopted him, I prayed “Mother-father God, please send me a sign that this is the right thing to do.” The next morning, as we filled out the adoption paperwork, I noticed that Bo’s kennel number was #632. Coincidentally, I see the number 32 whenever I need some reassurance, which is usually a few times a day. I knew it was meant to be. This was on August 23rd, 2019 and it changed my life.
A few weeks later on September 7th, 2019, I met the man who would become my husband on September 9th, 2023. I sit here writing this journal entry in the NC mountains on August 23rd, 2024, in the same place I met two of the greatest loves of my life, my husband and Bo, with the first love of my life, CeCe, wrapped around my feet. This has always been my favorite time of the year, but I am only now realizing why it feels so auspicious. For me, this is a time of life changing transition, love, and new beginnings. Oh how I love this time.
I am reminded of how unconditionally held and loved I am by God and the unseen ways of the universe. That even when I do not know what is in store for me, I can trust that everything is for me and what I desire will find me. Remembering this feels like a return to myself, a homecoming.
I choose to meet this day with openness to receive. I send loving kindness to all.”
All my love,
Caroline